I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
