I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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