my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
