I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
