with your own penis?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
