drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
