I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
