Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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