Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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