That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
