Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
