i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
