I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
