Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize