Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Can you bring me the toilet please
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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