I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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