We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
