i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she pinky promised me she was 18
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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