sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
