Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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