just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
