they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
