totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
