I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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