Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
