..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
