I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
