he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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