you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
