did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
