Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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