you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
