God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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