we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
