I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
