my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
