Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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