matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
