Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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