Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
