I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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