When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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