my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
