On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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