I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
