i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
