after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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