My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
