I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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