just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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