You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize