the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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