My brain says no but my pants say off.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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