Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
