JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Found your dick twin last night
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
