why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
