Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
