smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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