how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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