He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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