I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
