Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
